Monday, March 22, 2004

I know I deserve the best. Everyone does; however, I also know that, just because he doesn't love me the exact way I want him to doesn't mean he doesn't love me with all his heart.

It's taken 26 years to learn that. I know he loves me. And I know that I deserve absolute happiness like everyone else in the world. I know that I'm happy with him, and I know he's happy with me. I know we'll get married. I know we will. I just hate the damned waiting.

I know I talk about it constantly, but I've been trying not to, and trying not to think about it. I think I just really need him to express his commitment to me on a deeper level. Okay, enough of that.

When did I write last? Did I write at all on the weekend? Well, if so, skip this part. If not, read on.

Friday night we were supposed to play games, as usual; however, when I called to ask what we should bring as our dinner contribution, G said that they were sick and wanted to bag out. Cool with us. We watched Mad Mad House and Playing it Straight.

Now I remember typing this already.

Oh, but Sunday we went for lunch at Casey's, which was yummy. When we were done, he said, "Maybe we should take a look at Twain, to see if they have another ring like the one you wanted." See? He's totally egging me on! He went on to say, "Oh, they probably won't get another one like it. It wasn't that nice anyway, and it's not like there's a high demand for that type of ring, is there?" It's like he was wanting me to say how nice the ring was, and how much I loved it. So I did. What am I supposed to think? He's totally messing with my mind! Then we went to his video game store so he could buy The Suffering. Then, we noticed a 70% off sign at the jewellry store, so we took a quick look. Didn't see anything much. We didn't really have time to go to the other end of the mall to Twain, so we just started walking toward the exit near our car. I guess I was visibly disappointed that we weren't going to Twain, because as we passed another store, he said, "Well, we have time to stop in here." He was glued to my side the whole time, watching really closely. The saleswoman asked what I was looking for, so I told her and she said, "Oh, we could make that, no problem. You tell us what you want, and we'll make it for you." It was nice that he heard that. Now he knows he doesn't have to just buy whatever he sees in the display case.

Anyway, after all that, we went to see Secret Window. It was amazing. I absolutely loved it. Very cool ending, very creepy movie. Definitely worth seeing. And, hey, Johnny Depp. Need I say more?

So yeah, The Boy is messing with my head. He exaggerates everything, like saying, "Wow, you're talking a lot about rings and stuff. Can we give it a break?" and then going on to talk about the camera, how much (or how little) money he has saved, etc.

Okay. No more. Next time I mention it, slap me.


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