Thursday, May 27, 2004

Penne's gone. Now I'm eating baked Doritos, drinking Coca-Cola (no, not the carb-reduced one, but the plain ol' white lettered carb and calorie filled original). Yum.

I forgot to mention AI. I think it's pretty pretentious of Fox to do the whole red carpet and outside concert thing. It looked like welfare Oscar night.

And no one really wanted Jasmine to sing, did they?

I'm glad Fantasia won. I would have been glad if Diana won. Point being, they were both great, Diana just kinda buckled under the pressure.

Then again, so did Tamyra Gray. Her rendition of the national anthem bit the big one. More later.

So. Here I am again. On an early lunch, because we have a Webinar from noon to 1:30. Going to go and heat up some chicken penne in the microwave. Back in a jiff.

k. I'm back. These No Name lunches are great. Well, this one is.

The Boy and I had a bit of a tiff last night. He worked late, and he didn't say what he wanted for dinner, so I threw in one of those spinach pizzas that he loves so much. My plan was that I would make the side dish of his choice while he chowed down on the 'za. Well, when he finally called, at like 9:20, when the pizza had already been sitting waiting for him for five minutes, he said, "Oh. Pizza." Of course, my mood immediately soured. How about, "Oh, thanks for making dinner for me, hon. It's nice to come home to dinner waiting for me." So we didn't talk much. He said that it was a half-assed gesture, and the next time I want to bug him about marriage, I should think about how one-sided our relationship is.

The sad part is that he's kinda right.

He drives me to work every morning, which means that he gets up a full two hours than he would normally have to. Most mornings, while I'm getting ready, he makes me a coffee in my travel mug (save me the $5 trip to Starbucks!), and a bagel.

He does more than his fair share around the house, spending some of his mornings sweeping or mopping, when he could just be playing video games.

Why am I so fucking lazy? I've always been like this, since I moved to Ontario. At home, I had to do chores every day, but now I do almost nothing. I hate it about myself. Like, Monday, when I could have spent the day preparing for C&R's arrival, I spent it instead, lazing on the couch watching tv. I hate wasting my time like that, but I never have the motivation to do anything! Anything!!!

So he's absolutely right. I have been half-assed. But I'm too lazy to do anything about it. Do you think there's hypnosis to cure half-assedness?

Monday, May 24, 2004

Well, it's Monday. I didn't have to work today, so I did lots at home. And by "lots," I mean ate lots, drank lots of Coke, and watched lots of TLC.

Friday, I worked from home, but I can't really remember what I did. Then, The Boy got home and we went to Value Village to look at boardgames. We got Music Buff, Hedbanz, and Quicksand. Cute games. I also bought three cassettes. I don't remember the last time I used a cassette player; however, these were too good to pass up. They were $0.10 each. Jon Bon Jovi's Blaze of Glory (Soundtrack to Young Guns 2), Colin James, and Billy Joel's Innocent Man. Hell yeah.

So we got home and played Music Buff and Boggle. It was actually really fun, aside from The Boy making fun of me the whole night. :)

Saturday, we went to his parents' for dinner, as usual. Then, we got home and watched Cops and WB's American Superstar or something. I'm not sure how I feel about that show yet. It's funny, but so cruel on so many levels. First of all, you're making horrible singers think that they're great. Secondly, they're traumatizing and insulting people who are actually great singers! It's cruel, but it does make for some fine tv. But they could have gotten some better judges. Seriously. Vitamin C? Tone Loc's great though. I'd forgotten how sexy his voice was. (Don't laugh.) Then we watched a few episodes from the new Three's Company Season 2 DVD set that he bought for me. I was absolutely thrilled. Can I get a hell yeah???

Sunday, it poured rain, so The Boy made us bagels for breakfast and we went to see the 11:30 showing of Troy. I was very pleasantly surprised. I normally hate Brad Pitt, and this time was no different, but the other actors were great enough to compensate (with the exception of Orlando Bloom - I had high hopes for him, which he dashed with a horrible performance). I thought Eric Bana was great, he just needed to blink a little more. And Peter O'Toole is a god. I could watch or listen to him all day. Anyway, yeah. Pretty good movie. Despite the length (almost three hours), I didn't nod off once. Not even close. Praise indeed.

Then, we went home for a bit so The Boy could nap. He'd been whining (oops... I mean suffering) about a headache all day. The usual. He's always got a headache. I'm sorry if I don't sound sympathetic. It's hard to be sympathetic when someone says, "My head hurts so bad I think I'm dying," every other day. But I, the model girlfriend that I am, read in bed beside him so he wasn't alone. Wasn't that nice of me?

So he got up in an hour or so, and we went to A&G's. They had just gotten back from Florida the night before, so were all excited to regale us with tales of their adventures. They showed us tons of pictures from Seaworld, Animal Kingdom, etc. My favourite though was when they told us about when the left Florida and drove to Graceland. I SO want to go to Graceland! They said it was so amazing, and they had pictures to back up their stories. They said it was such an interesting experience, that they felt like they were invading the house, that it felt wrong being in there. There were baby pictures of Lisa Marie, tons of Elvis's clothes, his cars, gold records... They said that some of the rooms hadn't been touched since he died. I find that part hard to believe, but I guess one will never know. I definitely want to go there one day.

Then, we came home, and The Boy said he was going to barf. Again, an every-other-day occasion. He did barf though. Violently. He came out, in tears, because it hurt his head so badly. I felt like an absolute bitch for not trying to do more for him. He said it was bad, like the time we went to the hospital bad. (FYI, he was hit by a motorcycle when he was six, and suffered a really serious brain injury. Had surgery, now has horribly frequent headaches.) So I made a bed for him on the couch, and tried to calm him down. (When we went to the hospital last time, they just gave him some Tylenol IIIs and told him to sleep it off, so he wouldn't consider going back to the hospital.)

He slept for a while and then, when he woke up, I rubbed the back of his head a little, and he said it took a lot of the pain away. Yeah, that's right. I'm a miracle worker. I told him that it sounds like a good old fashioned migraine to me, complete with dizziness and vomiting and pain on the back of the head.

Anyway, he was fine then. Well, compared to how he was earlier. He insisted on making dinner and, afterward, we watched the American Idol special. (Can they possibly have any more specials before the finale??)

We went to bed early to read, and he got up this morning feeling a lot better. He's going to be home in about a half-hour and then we're going to A&G's for a barbecue dinner. I love when they barbecue for us, but the problem is that they don't make any side dishes. They make burgers and sausages, but no salad, no fries, no coleslaw... I always call and say, "Want us to bring a salad or rolls or something?" And she always says, "No, we've got everything we need. Just bring your appetites!" I feel like I would be insulting them if I did bring a salad then. I think next time I won't ask, I'll just bring something. But free dinner always rocks.

Then The Swan pageant is tonight. Not sure if I'll watch that or not. I've only seen two or three episodes (enough to make me decide that I'll NEVER have anything done to my face), but I think it will be, again, good tv.

I was watching Russian Roulette on GSN today, and saw that The Mole is starting on Tuesday. Note to self: Do research to determine if it's a new season, or a repeat of a past season.

I guess that's it for now. Yes, the plastic is still driving me nuts. I've been trying to act natural but, inside, I'm going crazy. The balloon place should start flights in a week or two, so hopefully it will be then. I don't know. Part of me says yes, the other part says no. C&R arrive on our anniversary, June 2nd, so he probably won't do it while they're here.

Oh, crap, almost forgot to mention the biggest news. Let me start by saying that we're going back to Windsor on Sunday for L's baptism. Keep in mind that L's mom, J, is the best friend of The Boy's ex. Also keep in mind that L's dad, M, is the cousin of The Boy's ex, and the guy that The Boy stood as best man for last summer. So we're definitely going to see his ex while we're at the baptism. Obviously, it's going to be awkward. We've never met, so I'm not exactly thrilled about the whole thing. But, as I've been saying to anyone who will listen, it's not about the ex, or us for that matter. It's about M & J and L. We're there for them, and we're not going to do anything to make the day weird for them. That being said, I know it will be infinitely uncomfortable for us.

Well, I had almost resigned myself to the fact that I would introduce myself to the ex, and be civil. Until this morning.

The Boy's mom called. The ex called her and asked if she could go and visit. She made plans with The Boy's sister to go clubbing or something, and asked if she could go and visit his mom too. Of course, his mom said, "Oh, yes, we would love to see you." Then, the ex asks if she can bring her BOYFRIEND!!!

What kind of psycho is this? Can you imagine bring your current boyfriend (who is five years younger than you, by the way), to meet your old boyfriend's family???

And how could his mom say it's okay? Doesn't she know how betrayed it makes me feel? I know I have no right to say anything about who they do or do not allow into their home, but you would think that they would have severed the ties by now. It's not as if they were married or anything, and it's not as if The Boy and I have only been together for a few months. We're going on three years, and we still have to deal with this shit on a semi-regular basis.

I'm sorry if this isn't making sense. The Boy's on his way, and I'm trying to get it all out before he gets home.

Okay. I think I'm done. Gotta change for dinner. Your mission: Tell me that I'm prettier than his ex. :P

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

I keep thinking about the piece of paper and plastic card that's currently sitting in my dresser drawer, buried under three pairs of pants. What do they mean? When will I know? What if the trip comes and goes with no proposal?

I feel, in my heart of hearts, that he will do it on the balloon. By the way, I was mistaken when I said that we saw the ring before Christmas. I went through my blog archives and saw that it was actually in March. God, it feels like years ago. Not two months ago.

So now I'm thinking that he was the person who bought that ring the next day. Re-reading what I wrote, how he made such a huge deal over, "Well, if I'd known you liked it so much..." and "It's not THAT nice, is it?", making me say how much I loved it, over and over... Now I'm thinking he bought it then. Knowing him, he could totally hide it this long.

We had a pretty long talk the other night about our sex life (or lack thereof). He compares me to his ex, which we also had a long talk about. He said that the only part of his relationship with her that was good was the sex, and that's the only part of his relationship with me that is lacking.

I told him that, among other things, I would appreciate it if, in the future, he could just state how he feels and how he would like things to be, without referring to "her" and comparing me to her in a negative way. I also told him that, if I felt he was into "us" 100% emotionally, then I could probably let go and get into us 100% sexually. I told him how I hate it that he only kisses me passionately in the bedroom, that he doesn't console me when I need him to, and that tiny things, like hugging me with one arm instead of both, make me feel like he only loves me half-assedly.

I was pleasantly surprised by how receptive he was, even apologetic. He promised that he would make an effort and so did I.

I know it's not healthy to be so uninterested in sex when we've only been together for three years, but I guess I shot myself in the foot. My efforts to ensure that our relationship wasn't purely sexual in the beginning have backfired, so that now there's hardly any to speak of at all. We always cuddle and touch, but rarely sexually.

We do have a few issues to work on. Both of us, individually and severally. But the good news is that we can talk about things, like adults, when it counts. What a relief.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Well, I didn't accomplish much work-wise today, but I sure made some changes to my Blog. I hope the new comments system works. My only regret is that I've lost all the past ones.

Oh well. You guys will just have to give me some new ones. :)

this is an audio post - click to play

My first day at home. Motivation low. The Boy is playing Red Dead Revolver, and I want to go out to the living room to hang out with him instead of trying to come up with web site content.

Pretty good weekend. Friday, went to Montana's for dinner, then picked up M and went to the casino. I played $20 on the slots and, when I cashed out, I had $19.25. I did pretty awesome. Kept winning 50 quarters, then 54 quarters, then another 50 quarters. It was fun. The Boy played $40 on blackjack and was up to $80 at one point, but lost it all. Oh well. We all had fun. M didn't win anything. It's turning into a full-scale war with her! :)

Saturday I got a pedicure (my second ever, and man did I love it), and gel nails. Not sure about them. They're making it a little cumbersome to type, but they sure do look pretty. Then we went to his parents' house for dinner, and stayed and played a few games of Boggle, my new favourite game. Then, we came home, watched "Nothing but Trouble" (don't ask), and I went to sleep.

Sunday, we got Tim's for breakfast, then went to Port Dover. I love that place. Went to Flipping Pages, the best/craziest bookstore in the world. The owner is all dressed in military gear, but listens to ABBA and swing music. It's great. So we got some books, then headed out to find some lunch. We ended up going to a place called the Fisherman's Catch. Great food, better atmosphere. Came home, went to the mall, got some magazines, and then came back home. Read, watched TV, played Boggle with The Boy, and went to sleep.

Now, here I am, at my desk, procrastinating. Okay. I'm done. I'm going to work now.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I feel absolutely terrible.

Yesterday, I got home from work, take my bags up to the apartment, then go back down to the mailroom. Flyer, flyer, junk mail, phone bill, utility bill… hmm…. What’s this? Window envelope, to The Boy, from an unknown address. Hm. What bill have we forgotten to pay now? Wait a minute. Feels like there’s a plastic card inside. Oh well. Probably just a new bank card. Then again, it would have the bank’s letterhead on the outside. Oh well. Oh well. Oh well.

It was a “thanks for your purchase, you’re now a preferred customer, here’s your membership card” from the fucking jewelry store where we saw the ring I loved, before Christmas!!!!!

Damn me!!! How the hell was I supposed to know? He’s probably going to propose on the balloon. I’m SO excited, but now I’ve ruined the surprise. I can’t tell him. I just can’t. He’ll be absolutely heartbroken. I have to just reseal the envelope somehow, and pretend I didn’t even notice. I’m just going to be surprised, which I totally will be. I think it’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? Dear readers, please tell me it’s the right thing to do. I know that it’s the most important moment of our lives thus far, and I don’t want to lie about it, but seriously. I feel so horrible. I cried and cried yesterday, because I felt so horrible. I just can’t ruin this moment. I have to just forget it happened.

Please tell me I’m right, guys.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Wow, Sar. You weren't kidding. There have been a lot of changes over the past few weeks.

Today was a rough day. Nothing worked properly. I'm losing my patience with RM. I'm still working from his house. He can't make up his mind. Wait, that's not true. He CAN make up his mind. He just changes it every five minutes. He makes a decision, then gets scared and starts to second-guess what we've done, and we're right back at square #1.

Okay, enough about that. I know I'm just frustrated. I know that, like all things, this too shall pass. I hope.

So. What have we been up to this past week or so? Thursday, we went to A&G's for Survivor. G made a pork roast, which everyone hated, except The Boy, who loves anything served on a plate. :) Friday was the last games night of the season. A&G are going to Florida later this week, and then they're opening up the cottage, so they'll be spending most of the weekends of the summer there. So the last games night was a doozy. C was more annoying than ever, if you can believe it. We were playing Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture (great game, by the way, if you're a trivia buff like I am) and, at one point, C was moving J's token around the board, without even asking him where he wanted to go. The Boy pissed her off by saying, "Why doesn't J just stop playing, and we'll give C two turns." We laughed our asses off. I guess you had to be there, because it doesn't translate well to the written word. :) Anyway, J, C and G quit. It was down to the boys and me, because we had all the pie pieces, we just had to get to the hub and answer the final question. Anyway, The Boy ended up winning. I think I was the only one who didn't mind that the game went on until 1:30 a.m. (We started playing at 9:00 p.m.!)

We got home and there were no parking spots. Again. Every weekend, people in the building have friends over or whatever, and they allow their friends to park in our parking lot. It's fucking annoying, because it's supposed to be tenants only, but the superintendants don't enforce it. So we get home, and there are literally no spots available. We can't park in the lot next to us, because we'll get towed. What do we do? We don't want to wake the super, to have him get rid of some of the other cars that aren't supposed to be there, so we parked in one of the "authorized parking only" spots by the middle door. There was seriously no where else to go. Park on the grass? Create a spot and block someone in? There was nothing else for us to do.

Well, we got up the next morning, at 10:00. The Boy had to work, and he was going to take me to Reitman's quick, so I could pick up the sweater for his mom for Mother's Day, and take me back home. We got to the car, and we had a fucking ticket!!! The fucking super called the City, and had them come and fucking ticket us!!!

Anyway, to make a long story short, we went to talk to the super, who was an absolute fuck. He had the WORST attitude, and even went so far as to insult The Boy, and grab his arm and try to push him down the stairs away from him. Bad idea. The Boy kept his cool throughout. I was SO impressed. He said, "I don't think you want to be touching me, my friend." We had a good laugh about that afterward. LOL

So. We told him we would be calling his boss, the Property Manager, to complain both about the ticket and his attitude and the "assault." Yeah, I didn't like the sound of that, but it worked. The Boy called the Property Manager, who loves him, and said she had spoken to the super about us being parked there, and told him not to call the City, but he did anyway! We were floored. He went behind his boss's back, and called the City anyway. So C said she would take the ticket and try to have it overturned for us. She also said she would be giving the super a talking to. He was totally on a power trip, and was just being an asshole.

Anyway, that's enough of that. Saturday night, we went to his parents' house for dinner. His mom loved the gifts we bought for her. Then, we went to Chapters, came home and watched a few episodes of Invader Zim. Pretty cute show. I love Gr. He's the cutest.

Sunday, we went to see Van Helsing. It was just okay. Then we went to The Boy's grandma's for the mother's day thing. That was fun. Then, we ordered Chinese, picked it up, and went home and watched Survivor!

I was hoping that Rob would win. Yes, he was manipulative, but he orchestrated the entire game. He truly was the Robfather. And I don't care what anyone says. I don't think Amber was surprised when he proposed. I voted for him to win the second million, but I know Rupert will win by a landslide. I'm cool with that too. I felt bad for Jerri though. I hope she's okay. She's been so made out to look bad, and I'm sure she's not as bad as she seems.

I guess that's it for now. I think I might watch The Swan for once. Very disturbing show, but I'm going to see what all the fuss is about.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

I haven't written in a while. Not much to say. New job is kinda blah right now. Still working from RM's house. When does the "work from home" kick in, I wonder??? He's out at his son's track and field event right now, so I'm taking advantage of the free time.

What has happened lately? Hm. Spoke to my mother. A few times. We're okay again I guess. I'm glad, but I'm still bitter, and it's hard to disguise it, but I'm doing a pretty good job of it. My family's great at pretending everything's okay.

I missed Jesus Christ Superstar. The only nights left are Friday and Saturday, which don't work. Friday is the last games night of the season, and Saturday night we're doing Mother's Day at The Boy's mom's. Oh well. I'm sure it'll come around again. Pfft. Right.

So C&R are coming to visit in June! I'm SO excited to see C. I SO need some girl time. I need some retail therapy. Hopefully, R and The Boy will get along well, so they can do stuff and C and I can do stuff like spa, shopping, and just stuff that the guys wouldn't want to do.

Plus, Dad's coming to visit too! He says July, August or September. Uhhh... do you have to be so specific?? It's cool though. He has to wait until he hears from Comp, to see if he can work again. If he does, he has to find out when, so the timing is key I guess.

I got an email from JH today. I guess T's pretty sick. J sounds really stressed, personally and professionally. I hope everything goes okay this week for them.

I'm seriously grasping for things to write about. Why am I so drained? I'm exhausted when I get home from RM's house every day. I guess I'm not used to putting in a full day's work anymore. Ha! I guess learning really is hard work.

I'm going to have a snack I think. More later, maybe.